LaShanda’s Story: I got pregnant but I still went to college

I was born in Evanston, IL. I have 2 brothers and 1 sister. My parents are Jamaican, and they are very strict. When I was growing up they kept a very close watch on me! They were very careful about what friends I could hang out with and where I could go. When I was 7 or 8 we moved to Des Plaines. So I attended Maine West Hight School. My parents remained strict, but one friend that I had was Josh. We met when we were freshmen and we stayed friends through high school. I was really looking forward to college, and freedom from my parents’ strict rules. I planned on majoring in Chemistry and becoming a pediatrician. I was going to go Iowa State and Josh was going to go to University of Florida, but we both got our acceptances late, and for various reasons we both ended up at Northern Illinois University. I was really glad to get out from under my parent’s strict rules. And like a lot of freshmen, I met new friends who liked to party! I discovered that I liked to party too! The freedom was exhilarating! Josh wasn’t as much of a partier, and sometimes this led to some conflict between us, but we moved from “friends” to “dating” freshmen year. My grades really started to suffer because of my partying, but Sophomore year I buckled down and they went back up. Things were looking good. Although Josh had left Northern and was working, we were still dating, and I was on my way to living out my dream of becoming a pediatrician. I was on birth control, but I wasn’t always good about taking it every day, and I ended up pregnant that year. I miscarried that pregnancy, and a few months later I got pregnant again! Did you know that 54% of all women walking into the abortion clinic are on a form of birth control the month they get pregnant? That was me. I was on birth control, but since I missed a couple of days I got pregnant anyway. I was afraid. First, I was afraid to tell my parents, especially my father. I knew that they would be disappointed and even angry with me. I always thought of myself as “pro-life” but when faced with this pregnancy, I thought about abortion. It would be an easy way out. No one would know, especially my parents. I talked to Josh about it. Here we were, two broke college age kids, how could we raise a baby? It wasn’t the right time. So we made an appointment at Planned Parenthood. We just didn’t know what else to do. The thing was, though, I really wanted this baby. I was driven by fear, not by “wanting” an abortion. This wasn’t a choice. I just felt I had no other choice. After Josh and I talked some more, we decided we could have this baby! But we needed help! I looked on the internet for help and I found Aid for Women. I met with one of their counselors and she shared her own story about getting pregnant and having to tell her strict father about it. She gave me a lot of hope and encouragement, and when we saw the ultrasound of our baby, that was it. I knew I could never have an abortion. Aid for Women provided diapers, clothes, and toys, The counselor taught me about breast feeding and even showed my how to hold my baby. I considered her my “baby mentor” and we still keep in touch three years later. So…I told my parents, and they didn’t react as I thought they might. My mother cried and she told my dad. I copped out and told them over the phone while I was at school. When I came home for the weekend, they sat me down and SHOCKINGLY were ok with it. Yes, they were disappointed, but they told me they would have been more disappointed if I went through with the abortion. My dad claims that he already knew and was just waiting for me to tell him. They did NOT kick me out, which was what I had kind of expected. My baby’s name is Jaylen. He is the joy of my life. I am still in school, and I will graduate soon. I am also working full time, as is Josh, My relationship with my parents is still difficult, but we are working on that too. Josh and I have plans to settle into a larger home after I graduate, get married and eventually have a brother or sister for Jaylen. I am very grateful that we chose life, and we are grateful too for the help that Aid for Women, and especially the counselor, provided.